


Him and Him and Death Makes Three

by bluejorts



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: (i didnt do like a direct mention that hes trans but hes absolutely trans), M/M, Polyamory, Trans Male Character, mlm author, this is my new fave ship i love my three boys together very much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-17 12:05:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11851221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluejorts/pseuds/bluejorts
Summary: It's very difficult being around two very handsome men when you know they're bonking, especially when you want to do that nasty thing with them. (It's equally as difficult being around your boyfriend's very hot friend)the title is a work in progress, alternatively: taako has two hands





	1. A Guide to Announcing You're Banging Death by Taako Taaco

**Author's Note:**

> i am Very Sorry for the chapter titles

There was a sand-like anxiety rolling around in his stomach, gritty and cold. Taako took his hand and smiled reassuringly at him, then stepped into a subtle swagger the moment he pushed the door open. Kravitz’s eyes darted around, fixing on Merle to Magnus, sat either side of a small table. This was the moment.

“Morning nerds, Kravitz is here. Is there any breakfast?” Taako sandwiched his words casually and with confidence.

“Afternoon.” The others grunted in tandem. Merle didn’t look up from painting his arm, but Magnus’ eyes went from Taako to Kravitz, to their hands. A natural hostility slipped into his expression and his eyes slowly pulled away from their hands to Kravitz’s face, searching his expression.

“Why’s he here?”

“I'm playing with him.” Taako snickered. Kravitz turned his head to glare at his boyfriend, had he been living his skin probably would have burned red.

“Ew, TMI.” Merle grumbled, still not looking up.

“Plant fetish.”

“Point taken. Just don’t be loud, I don’t wanna have to get Magnus to cut off my ears.”

“Are you okay with this? With Kravitz?” Magnus raised his brows, ignoring the teasing jab. Despite being used to this attitude directed at him, it kind of hurt hearing it from the friends of the guy he uh, really liked.

“Why wouldn’t I be? I don’t control where he sticks it.”

“But Kravitz tried to kill you!”

“Did he?”

Kravitz dipped his head. A squirming upset inside him wanted to become skeletal and hide in his flowing robes. He’d felt nothing but guilt since that incident, which was unusual. Usually the people he reaped were disgusting low-lifes, people intent on living on because they were terrified of the hell they were sure they were going to go to after they passed.

“Yeah? Big crystal monster? He cut off your arm?”

“You cut off my arm, asshole!”

“Because he crystalised it!”

“Oh _yeah_.” Merle finally actually looked up. He frowned and looked Kravitz up and down, focusing on his fingers tightly laced with Taako’s. His eyes softened, then he just shrugged. “Eh, that's in the past.”

“In the past?” Magnus sounded confused, but not outraged as Kravitz had been expecting.

“Yeah, he was just doin’ his job. And plus,” he waved at Magnus with his wooden hand, the bark partially painted bright flowing colours. “I got a new arm, didn't I? And even better, this one’s detachable.”

“No, it's not.” Magnus interrupted as Merle reached to demonstrate. “Don't even try.”

Merle started sulking, and went back to painting, and apparently the conversation was over.

“So Kravitz, how long have you and Taako been doing whatever it is you're doing?” Or not. Magnus was staring at him, distrustful.

“Uh,” he looked at Taako, who had apparently poured himself a bowl of sugar puffs with one hand and shrugged at him with full cheeks. “Roughly since you returned from Refuge.” His accent was the same cockney he knew they would remember.

“That long?” Magnus looked at Taako now, expression openly showing his hurt.

Taako shrugged and tried to speak through a mouthful of cereal.

“Yeah, it’s been a while.” Kravitz spoke for him. “Taako didn’t tell you because he ‘didn’t think it was you doofus’ business’. His words, not mine.”

“So you think it’s okay to just invite him for breakfast one day?”

Taako shrugged, Kravitz translated. “Pretty much?”

Magnus pondered, then shrugged himself (they seemed to be a group of shruggers, these three). “Fair ‘nough. Where have you been going? I didn’t think you left the moon Taako.”

“The Chug and Squeeze, and occasionally some of the other restaurants. And - well sometimes just Taako’s room. And we do go planetside sometimes.” Kravitz’s accent was taking a lot more effort than he wanted to give. “Sorry, can I drop the accent? It’s exhausting.” He released Taako’s hand to let him pay full attention to his cereal.

“You’re telling me.” Magnus barked a laugh, leaning back in his chair. “Why do you put it on?”

“It’s for work really, you know how I said it was to confuse my prey when we first met?”

“Yeah, is it really?”

“Absolutely fucking not. It’s just because it gives me some further sense of anonymity, nobody can find where I’m from if I put on accents.”

“And where are you from?”

“Can’t tell you that, sorry love.” Kravitz put the accent on again and cracked a grin. He felt almost relaxed.

Magnus went pink. Taako tried to speak again with a mouthful of food, and Kravitz had had just about enough of that.

He stepped behind Taako, distracted him by resting his chin gently on his shoulder, and snatched away the cereal bowl from the counter when Taako abandoned it to stroke his cheek. Taako’s response was a shocked bleat and a grasp for the bowl, but Kravitz was fast in moving out of the way. He scooped sweet cereal into his mouth, smiling with his cheeks full.

Merle snorted, and Kravitz felt a lot more confident.

Magnus though was having a crisis. On the one hand, Taako had a boyfriend, which was wonderful! Magnus wanted nothing but happiness for his friends! But on the other, Taako was shirtless and squirreling food away in his cheeks and his plump lips were wet with milk and Kravitz was wearing this loose fitting t-shirt and boxers and had the face of an angel and had just jokingly called him _love,_ and if Magnus had thought it was trouble that he had this crush on Taako, then this was gonna be the end of him because now there were _two_ really hot guys in front of him and they were together and his brain was short circuiting. Fuck.

So he ignored everything he felt and gave his stern questions and laughed fully at Kravitz’s witty responses. Above his attraction, he was a protector. He wanted to make sure Taako was safe with Kravitz given Death’s history. Merle might not have been bothered, but Magnus really did want what was best for his friends. It took ten minutes of questions (both silly and serious) for him to decide that Kravitz was a good guy, and that his laugh was literally magical.

Merle had left five minutes in because he apparently needed a quieter place to paint his bark, and Taako had sat down in his place. Kravitz had at first leaned against the counter, but had remarked that the cereal was disgusting and walked over to sit between Magnus and Taako and push the cereal over to his... boyfriend?

“So.” Magnus leaned in and laced his fingers together on the table. He’d run out of other questions. “You guys are going strong then?”

Kravitz glanced over at Taako and nodded, ducking his head to hide an affectionate smile.

“So he’s your boyfriend?”

“Correctomundo my man.” Taako smirked smugly. “It’s like some weird-ass sitcom, I’m bangin’ Death.”

Kravitz groaned and his his face in his hands. “Do you have to say that _constantly_?”

“Yup.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“Yup.”

Magnus laughed at the exchange, he was really taking a liking to this guy, like, seriously.

Kravitz peered out from between his fingers and his eyes met Magnus’. They were pure black but for an iris of white, which was only scary for the first five minutes of looking at him (Magnus was making a conscious effort to look him in the eye).

“Are you both gonna team up on me here?” He said, voice muffled by his palms, breath becoming a fog as it slipped out between freezing fingers. Magnus’ brain went on a slight detour to Sin Valley, taking a different meaning to the words, but he quickly reeled it back and cracked a grin.

“I’m just here to bully whoever I feel like, really.” Magnus shrugged. Taako flicked puffed rice at him with a kissable pout and Kravitz dropped his hand, revealing a handsome smirk as his eyes rolled.

Magnus’ crisis was not gonna be stopping anytime soon, wow.


	2. Bone Brawl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theres no heterosexual explanation for this

In the week after he and Taako had revealed their relationship to Magnus and Merle both of those had asked Kravitz to spend time with them unprompted.

Merle had given him a stern talking to about hurting Taako, and then an even sterner one about never telling Taako or Magnus that he’d gone all ‘dad mode’ on him. And sure, that wasn’t the most friendly way to start off, but after that they’d gone off and played a game of moon golf, where they’d bonded over their connections to their gods and Kravitz had apologised a hundred times about Merle’s arm.

And then Magnus invited him training one day, said he wanted to see what the Reaper could do without a big crystal body.

“Sorry, Taako said he didn’t want to come. He doesn’t like when there’s no magic involved.” Magnus looked sheepish. “You’re welcome to go find him and chill if you want.”

“No way. I can see Taako tonight, I wanted to hang out with you.” Magnus’ grin at that was enough to have the false beat of Kravitz’s heart skipping. Which was… less than ideal. Kravitz pretended it hadn’t happened and grinned in return with playful malice. “Plus, I wanted to show you how hard I can beat your ass.”

“That a challenge?”

“Bring it.” Kravitz shrugged both of his jackets off his shoulders and sauntered backwards into the middle of the training space, kicking his shoes off as he went. Magnus, still grinning, shook his own jacket and shoes off and stood facing Kravitz.

There was a moment where they waited for each other to strike. Then, Magnus’ fist came forwards. Kravitz saw it coming from a mile away (disadvantage). (19) And yet he didn’t see the knee coming towards his stomach, just felt as it connected. It would have knocked him backwards had the hand that had been reaching out to punch him not wrapped around his shoulders and held him still for the blow. A living person would have been winded, but Kravitz had an advantage there, so in his head he calculated his retaliation. (12) He tried to headbutt upwards and hit Magnus in the chin, but his head was hindered by the man’s buff chest.

Magnus pushed Kravitz backwards softly and winked. “Not so tough when you aren’t all golem-y are you?”

“That’s what you think.” Kravitz poked his tongue out in a way he hoped was playful. Magnus’ eyes flitted to his mouth and Kravitz took that split second to attack. (20) He tackled Magnus to the ground, wrapping his arm around his waist and kicking his legs out in front of him in a move fit for wrestling that ended up in Kravitz squeezing Magnus’ stomach and pinning him to the ground.

Magnus was stunned for a moment, winded in a loud groan. But it only took a second for him to try to escape Kravitz’ hold, (strength contest M - 23 K -20) which he swiftly managed, hefting Kravitz over so that he was lying on top, then standing up and kneeling hard on Kravitz’ stomach. (19) He landed gentler than he probably would have in battle, and Kravitz was barely more hurt than he had been, which gave him strength to fight back immediately and try to flip them again (strength contest M -10  K - 20). He lunged upwards and despite Magnus’ weight managed to launch him off sideways, then scampered over and straddled him, forearm against his neck.

Magnus was breathing heavily and didn’t make any move to fight back, but Kravitz kept his position. The fight hadn’t officially ended yet and he wasn’t about to let his guard down.

“Nice job.” Magnus wheezed. “Uncle.”

Kravitz snorted and took his arm away from Magnus’ neck, instead leaning with his hands either side of Magnus’ head. He shut his eyes. Magnus was really hot, and Kravitz kind of wanted to melt into him and soothe his cold aches . When he opened his eyes again Magnus was redder than the fight had made him, and his eyes were wide.

“Oh shit, right. This is weird.” Kravitz was very reluctant to move from his warm, soft seat (and Magnus’ eyes were quite close and he could see just how pure brown they were, this melted chocolate colour that lacked a dark ring around them which was _super_ distracting).

“A little.” Magnus chuckled.

“I should move?”

“I mean, yeah. But you’re like _freezing_ and I’m dying of heatstroke after that, so please feel free to like, stay there.”

Kravitz beamed, very glad that they were on the same page. He collapsed on top of Magnus and pressed his cheek against the human’s boiling forehead. Magnus yelped with surprise and Kravitz could feel hot, open mouthed breaths on his clavicle (which really shouldn’t have made his mouth so dry, this was a totally platonic situation after all).

Magnus could feel his luck dangling over the cliff’s edge. He shouldn’t be taking advantage of how tactile Kravitz was. But he hadn’t been lying when he said he was boiling, and Kravitz was almost better than a cool shower after training. The cold seeped through his clothes and sank into Magnus’ skin like a balm, Magnus could have stayed there for a while, Kravitz’s rough cheek on his forehead and his neck so close and _tempting_ and for a while every time Magnus’ breath hit his skin it fogged, until their temperatures evened out at.

“Oh, sorry sir I - am I interrupting? I can come back later.” A squeaky voice piped from the doorway and Kravitz’s cheek peeled away from his forehead. Magnus sighed in irritation and affixed Angus McDonald (world’s greatest boy detective yada yada) with a look that pretended to be happiness.

“Hey Ango, no you’re not interrupting anything. What’s up?” Magnus begged Kravitz to stay lying, even though they were both the same temperature, but the Reaper rolled off him and hopped to his feet, offering Magnus a soft hand and a gentle smile, which Magnus took.

“I was just just looking for Carey. She leant me this nail polish and I was going to give it back to her.”

“Ah right, I think she was planning on going to Neverwinter with Killian? If you run you might catch them.” Magnus was very aware of how close he was standing to Kravitz, it was like standing in front of a refrigerator even though they’d barely been apart a minute. He rested an arm on Death's shoulder. Had this been any other time he’d ask to see Angus’ nails, but he was a little preoccupied.

“Okay! Thanks Magnus!” Angus skittered off and away.

“There are kids here?” Kravitz muttered. “Isn't that - is he in danger?”

“That's just Ango, he's the only kid on the moon.” Magnus shrugged. “He's not in any danger any more, he used to go about detecting shit planetside, which was a whole lot more risky for him than anything that happens here.”

Kravitz nodded slowly. Magnus felt uncomfortable, he didn't like thinking about the possible danger his friends could face (especially not Angus). “Listen, you wanna go get some lunch or something?” He changed the subject swiftly, and Kravitz didn't try to change it back. They showered and changed then headed to the café in the dome nearest the gym.

They meet regularly after that, if not to fight then to talk, Magnus grew used to it. Sometimes Taako would join them, and for about ten seconds Magnus would feel out of place, but then Taako would use him as a footrest or Kravitz would kick him in the calf playfully and it was almost like he wasn't third wheeling.

“There's no point wearing these boots if people can’t see them!” It was one of these times, where Taako had his legs stretched across Magnus and his head hanging off Kravitz’s lap. He was far too long to fit nicely into the booth at the restaurant they were in.

“I'm just saying, you're gonna get in trouble for acting like a child.” Kravitz’s accent was his natural one, since he wasn’t at that moment on the job.

“We’re celebrities here! They can’t get upset at us homie, we’re gods walking among them! Gods!”

“Mhm, I'm sure.” Kravitz patted his boyfriend on the head and smirked. Magnus felt his cheeks pull into a smile. “You’re the god of being a little bitch.”

Taako protested and jabbed Kravitz in the stomach, Magnus laughed until Taako kneed him in the ribs.

“I swear to the gods, if you don't sit normally I'm pulling these off your feet and burning them.” Magnus teased, wheezing.

Taako gasped and scrambled to sitting in Kravitz’s lap, arms flung around his neck, looking at Magnus with exaggerated horror. “Too far!”

Kravitz coughed purposefully, looking up at his boyfriend with raised brows. Taako grinned and pecked him firmly on the lips.

Magnus snorted. “You gonna stay sitting like that the whole meal?”

“Might do. See, I can use my extraplanar boyfriend as a meat shield - or like, a bone shield. So take that homie.”

“Is that all I am to you?” Kravitz gasped melodramatically.

“Yes, just a big pile o’ bones in boy form.”

“A boy shaped bone pile.” Magnus snickered.

Kravitz looked to him with betrayal circling amusement in black eyes. “Not you too!” He huffed. “Y’know what, fine.” And his handsome face cracked and flaked and fell away on a breeze that took it nowhere. Taako suddenly fell a few inches with a yelp, and he was sitting on a skeleton. “Bone shield ready.”

Laughter bubbled all throughout Magnus and he burst into a fit of honks and snorts and hid his face in his arms on the table. Taako equally buried his head in a skeletal shoulder. When Magnus managed to look up, Kravitz’s jaw hung open and he winked one of the red orbs that filled his eye sockets. Magnus laughed so hard he cried.

When the servers came over with their food, they seemed very concerned at the skeleton  sitting in place of one of their customers.

“Oh it's okay.” Taako snickered, noticing their worried eyes. “He’s just dead hungry.

Kravitz turned towards them and tried to apologise, but giggles interrupted every other word. Taako fell from his lap with a guffaw to bury his face in Magnus’ side. They tipped extra when they left.


	3. Swim Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so i havent thought at All thru why kravitz would be from where i say he's from but its fiction i do what i want

“You've  _ never _ been swimming?” Two pairs of eyes fixed Kravitz with shock and horror, one pair a light amber and the other deep brown. 

“No? I mean, where I grew up the water was naturally boiling so swimming wasn’t really a thing.”

“Did you grow up on the fucking  _ sun _ ?” Taako gaped, sat across the table with Magnus. 

“No, I grew up on a different plane, in a different planar system. They aren't all like this one.” 

“That’s stupid, and weird.” 

“You're stupid and extra weird.”

“Kids, stop flirting.” Magnus groaned. “Let’s go swimming later.”

Fear squirmed its way into Kravitz’s gut. “Don't you have training later?” 

“Nope.” Magnus pulled out his stone and tapped Carey’s frequency in. “Hey Carey! I have some bad news: Kravitz has never been swimming before so I'm gonna have to bail out later and teach him.”

There was an exclamation and a response.

“Oh yeah I know, right? He’s got the body of one!” Kravitz let his head fall into his arms in embarrassment. “Huh? Oh yeah that would be awesome! Send him on down! See ya later Care!” The voice in the stone said something else then frazzled out. “Well, Ango’s gonna join us.” 

Taako groaned and Kravitz felt the table shudder as he presumably flopped forwards onto it. Kravitz knew it was just for show, he loved Angus really. 

They walked through Neverwinter, waiting for Angus and looking around for swimsuits. Taako tried to convince Kravitz to buy a speedo approximately fifty times, and Kravitz declined approximately forty nine (the fiftieth time he agreed to try one on if Taako would leave it be.)

When Kravitz stepped grumpily out of the changing room - speedo covering almost nothing, all smooth skin and soft muscles - Magnus wasn't sure where to look. He  _ wanted  _ to look at Kravitz, but when he did his eyes wandered and his cheeks warmed.

Kravitz really did have the body of a swimmer, and held himself (even when annoyed like this) with perfect posture. His brows were low over intimidating eyes, and his full lips were pursed, accentuating his high cheekbones. The horns on his temples were gently arched into a stretched ‘S’ and capped with gold that matched the cuffs on his locs. His dark skin had a deathly pallor, void of the red tones of blood, and without clothes it was very easy to see that he wasn’t any normal tiefling. When he stood still there was none of the background movement of a living being. His chest didn’t move with breath, there was no movement of any arteries below his sculpted jaw, his thin, lizard like tail was stock still, not flicking like most people’s did. His skin (mostly his arms) occasionally bore straight whitish scars. Magnus thought he looked like a marble statue of some god.

“You happy now?” The statue spoke.

“ _ Delighted, _ gorgeous.” Magnus looked over at Taako, who was just about drooling over his boyfriend. They were so grossly in love, it was adorable, and kind of painful.

“Perfect, well I'm gonna change.” He stepped back into the changing room and out again a second later, fully dressed once again.

“Why are you even browsing when you're just gonna change your form?” Magnus asked, his nervous heart relaxing.

“Well I need to figure out what I'm gonna wear when I get around to it.” 

“Mhm, and it's  _ real  _ nice to watch all this.” 

“You're such a voyeur.” Kravitz scoffed, batting at Taako’s chest gently. The elf smirked and crossed his arms smugly. Kravitz picked up a pile of shorts from a seat next to him and threw them to Magnus. “Your turn big guy.” He shot a (flirtatious? No, challenging?) grin. “Strut your stuff.” 

Magnus rolled his eyes and dropped the shorts in a pile on the seat in the changing cubicle. Taako giggled and sat on the now available seat next to where Kravitz leaned against the wall. Death ran a hand softly through his boyfriend’s hair.

Kravitz ignored the thoughts at the back of his mind, the excitement of how much skin Magnus would be showing. He looked down at Taako and admired his grin, the way his cheeks pulled upwards, the dip of his cheekbones. His hair was pulled up into a loose bun that was much more for practicality than style, his ears shook slightly. Kravitz wasn’t sure what that meant. 

Then he heard the stall door open and was about to look up but Taako licked his lips and Kravitz really wanted to kiss him. He had such plump, perfect lips, soft when kissed and stunning when -

“Sick threads my dude.” Taako wolf whistled, and Kravitz looked up before his mind could wander too far out of the store. Magnus looked… really good. Kravitz’s brain didn't so much stop wandering as start off in a different direction. Magnus’ body and Taako’s lips, now those were some things he wistfully wished he could have both at once. But anyway.

Magnus had apparently taken about two seconds to find his favourite pair of shorts (they were pale blue and white, made from a thin material that had been imbued with magic that made them perfect for wearing in the water) and he was showing them off with a shy blush. They suited him perfectly, the light colours providing handsome contrast with his tan skin. He was of course wearing underwear at that moment, hiding his hipbones, but the shorts rode low.  

Kravitz tried to focus on the shorts, but it was really hard. Magnus was fit as hell. His arms were the size of Kravitz’s head, and his  _ thighs good lords and ladies _ . Kravitz’s eyes slipped from the shorts to his legs and stomach. His abs were gently visible, covered in a mist of hair that got thicker and darker when it got lower, and his gut jutted just slightly over the waistband of his boxers. Enough scars covered his skin to make him look like a training mannequin come to life. And gods, he was so very big. His chest was broad and defined, hairy and just as scarred as the rest of him. One scar in particular stood out, it stretched across the underside of his pecs, unbroken, pale pink and almost intentional. It looked to Kravitz as if someone had tried to cleave him in two.

“These okay?” 

Taako nodded enthusiastically. “Lookin’ good beefcake.” His ears were pink, interesting. Kravitz snorted and rolled his eyes but nodded affirmation. Magnus swiftly stepped back into the cubicle and changed. 

“Your turn Taako.” He gestured. 

“Nah, I found what I'm gonna wear, I'm good to go.”

Kravitz caught his eye and pouted. “C’mon, we did it.”

Taako groaned and melodramatically dragged himself to get changed. He came out with a flourish in a pair of black shorts with skull and crossbone designs on the pockets. Kravitz licked his lips, well that was certainly something. He looked up to Taako’s face and was met with a wink that did funny things to his stomach. His eyes roamed, and this time he knew he was allowed, so he drank in Taako’s beauty. 

He really was stunning; tall, thin and elegant. His body was angular and statuesque, softly toned muscles and fine, curled hair. Even the way he slouched, shoulders drawn forwards and back arched, was somehow purposeful. Taako usually hid under layer after layer of clothing and scarves, and Kravitz always felt honoured to be allowed to see beneath all that. Taako wasn’t ashamed of his body, he was always confident in himself. It was what had happened to his body that he was ashamed of; the scars. Kravitz didn’t know why, but he guessed that Taako didn’t want to seem any less than perfect. It kind of hurt? That Taako didn’t see himself as Kravitz saw him, as a survivor of battles and accidents. There was a large scar across his side stretching ribcage and hip, that looked like it had been caused by magic; it was ragged tissue with lightning edges, with a central point that looked sewn back together. Kravitz had gone to kiss it once, only for Taako to panic and Blink across the room. He promised to never touch him there again. 

Magnus was trying not to stare. He’d seen Taako shirtless - even naked - plenty of times. But those had usually been in passing, and Magnus hadn’t usually been invited to comment on his appearance. Every time he looked to the shorts he felt his heartbeat stutter faster, and whenever he looked anywhere else it did the same, from his piercing yellow-orange eyes to the lip he was worrying at with his teeth (maybe he wasn’t as confident showing off like this as he seemed). Magnus gave two big thumbs up and told him it was cool. 

“You look s-stunning, babe.” Kravitz actually stuttered. Magnus looked over at him, his eyes swept over Taako’s figure as if he could never get enough of looking at him. 

“Chill, then I’m gonna change and buy it.” Taako’s feet shuffled as he turned around and Magnus saw Kravitz’s eyes wander down his back and fix on his ass. Nice, subtle. 

He and Taako handed over their silver and the three of them headed to pick up Angus from the outskirts of the city, he’d come down with three other Bureau employees who nodded and smiled at them and left, chatting amongst themselves.

“Hello, sirs!” Angus beamed. He was already wearing his trunks, at odds with the crisp white shirt he wore on his top half. His glasses were perched on his nose but a pair of (probably prescription) swimming goggles sat just below his growing horns. His tail, thicker than Kravitz’s and hanging from an extra hole in the shorts, wagged and brushed the ground much like a dog’s. 

“Hey buddy!” Magnus grinned, ruffling his hair. Kravitz said a quiet hello and stepped back to observe the men interacting with their friend. Taako teased him slightly too harshly and interrogated him on how his magic was going, his ears were perked and his eyes were bright, attentive. He really did care about him. Angus nervously showed off his Mage Hand and briefly mentioned that he was going to look into fire magicks next. Taako squeezed his shoulder for a moment and Angus’ eyes practically turned to stars. Magnus laughed heartily and told Angus he’d be better than Taako some day, which Angus denied, pale faced.

“Let’s hop to it kiddo, I’m super ready to teach Death the backstroke.” Magnus winked. Kravitz felt the anxiety that had appeared when the idea had first been suggested catch up on him. He knew the water here was fine, was cold. He knew that the swimming pool was shallow, and monitored. But people still died in water in this plane, they might not have been as common, and they might not have boiled, but they still died. He didn’t speak the rest of the way to the pool except to confirm or deny things thrown his way. 

“Y’all go in, we’ll catch up.” Taako shooed the other two ahead once they reached the building . He caught Kravitz’s hand to stop him from walking on autopilot indoors. “You okay fella?” 

Kravitz nodded.

“You sure about that? ‘Cause I rolled pretty high investigation and you my eyes are telling me you look worried.” 

Kravitz chuckled slightly, Taako did say the strangest things. “I’m just… nervous. This is scary for me. Where I come from the water isn’t just boiling it’s like, it’s magic. We had to freeze it before we could even try to drink it, and as soon as it started melting it was liquid and you had to drink it in five minutes or it would cook your mouth.”

Taako winced. “I see why that has you feeling cautious. But hey, I promise that I’ll be here the whole time. I’ll get in at the same pace as you and I’ll come sit with you if you want and if you ever need to get out.”

“I ever tell you you’re the best?” 

“Mm, well you could say it more often.”

“You’re the best, Tak.” A beat, a softer tone. “And I love you.”

“Love you too, Krav. Ya big dork.”

The pool wasn’t particularly busy, probably because it was like two in the afternoon on a wednesday. Kravitz was of course the first one changed, but he didn’t head out to face the water just yet, he hung back and waited for the others.

Angus was next to join him after pulling off his shirt and neatly arranging his things in a locker, and the two stood in awkward silence. Kravitz didn’t know really how to talk to kids, they usually didn’t want anything to do with him, death was a terrifying concept to the young. 

“When did your horns finish growing in?” Angus piped up. Kravitz flinched in surprise and looked down at him. The boy was staring at his feet, tip of his tail flicking anxiously in the air. 

“What’s that?”

“Your horns? When did they grow in? Because mine are only just starting to come above my skin and it itches like mad. And all the books say that they should grow in between the ages of ten and twelve, and I’m eleven and I was just wondering how long yours actually took to grow because there are not many documented accounts of how long they take to grow in.”

Kravitz took a moment to process. “Oh, ah, let me just think. It’s been a really long time, and I’ve been like, dead, even longer so... I think I was twelve when they came above skin? And I don’t think it was long after that that they were fully grown.” He cracked a smile, Angus was actually looking up at him now, attentive. “But I would wake up headbutting the frame of my bed, I’d gouged out a solid line of the wood by the time they’d finished growing.”

Angus nodded, his tail relaxed onto the ground. “Where are you from?” He asked next. Kravitz tried his best to answer. “And how did you get here.” 

“Well I don’t know for sure, but the Gods of my planar system seemed to have some kind of connection with this one.” Angus gaped and went to reach for a notepad that he didn’t have on him. 

“And you work for the Raven Queen, correct?”

“That’s right.”

“Ango, leave him be.” Taako’s voice came from behind them, accompanied by feet slapping on the tiled floor. Kravitz turned to smile at him, and immediately noticed something wrong. Taako’s skin was unblemished. Pristine, the spaces that had been marked were now nothing more than skin. Kravitz felt a pinching sadness, but smiled regardless, it was up to Taako how he presented himself, and if this is how he felt comfortable then so be it. He was beautiful. 

“Sorry sir, I didn’t mean to go all detective on you.” He pushed his glasses up on his nose, looking down with embarrassment. 

“It’s okay, you can quiz me more later if you want.”

Angus beamed, and Kravitz couldn’t help but to return the smile. Taako came up and wrapped a hot arm around his waist. Now they were just waiting on Magnus.

“You doing okay?” Taako leaned down and whispered softly. Kravitz nodded, he was doing better not thinking about it. He really did want to face this fear.

“Hey, uh, Taako? Can you come over here?” Magnus’ voice boomed. Taako sighed, kissed Kravitz on the cheek and promised he’d be right back, leaving him and Angus alone again.

Magnus was mortified. He’d managed to rip off one of the buttons on the shorts and he’d only had them for a few hours, curse his incredible strength. He let Taako into the cubicle and hid his red face, gesturing to the shorts.

Taako wolf whistled. “Is this ‘cause of that monster package you’re always telling us about?”

Magnus groaned. “Shut up and fix it, please?” 

“Sorry my man, didn’t bring my needle and thread.”

“I’m at least eighty five percent sure you have a cantrip for this.”

Taako thought for a second. “You’re one hundred percent correct, give me a sec to grab my umbra.”

He stepped out of the room, Magnus heard Kravitz yell; “Everything alright?”

“Magnus’ enormous junk ripped through his shorts.” Thanks Taako. 

Angus groaned in disgust. “Alright see you sirs, I’m just gonna go drown myself so I never have to hear those words ever again!” A pair of sprinting, slapping, footsteps.

“Angus -” 

“Krav, hey. He was joking. I promise. Everything’s gonna be alright. You wanna go laugh at Magnus while I grab my umbrella?”

After a second Magnus could hear Kravitz heading his way, and unlocked the stall door so he could step in and sit down. He’d ended up wearing a pair of shorts that he’d not seen in any shop, they were identical in style to Taako’s, but where the main fabric of Taako’s shorts was black, his was white, and they were emblazoned with proud red umbrellas.

“You really did bust those, huh?” He smiled, looking to Magnus’ crotch and then the floor.

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Don’t you start too.” He looked into Kravitz’s worried face. “You alright?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m okay.”

“You sure, Kravitz?”

“I - not really. It’s this whole water thing.” He deflated slightly.

“You’re scared it’s gonna be boiling?”

“I know it’s stupid, but yeah. I know so many people who died because of the water back where I lived, and I know I shouldn’t be scared of death considering my job but this just terrifies me and I’m not sure if I can do it and -”

“Kravitz, hey. Slow down a second buddy, take some deep breaths for me? I know you don’t breathe but it’s good to have that motion to focus on.”

Kravitz’s chest moved, out of practice and shaky. Magnus told him to build up a rhythm, and he just about managed it.

“Now, everything is going to be fine. We’ll go it together, you me and Taako, take our time.”

“Are you two organising a threesome in there?” Taako snickered, rapping on the door. Kravitz rolled his eyes, bit his lip with a fond smile and unbolted the stall. Magnus watched Taako saunter in, looking comfortable as anything with the umbra staff at hand. He very quickly cast Mending on Magnus’ shorts and hovered in the door while he finished buttoning them up, as if waiting for another to burst. Another, of course, didn’t, and he nodded in satisfaction and went to put the staff away. 

Magnus totally platonically took Kravitz’s hand (their fingers weren’t laced, everyone knows that’s what makes things romantic) and let him set their pace to walk out and join Taako. Their elf was shoving the umbrella into an already overstuffed locker and forcing it to shut. When he managed to, he turned to them and dusted off his hands, as if it were a job well done.

“Shall we?” He smirked, offering Kravitz’s free hand his own. The two of them  _ did _ lace their fingers, and walked shoulder to arm out into the pool courtyard. 

Kravitz momentarily forgot a large part of his fear when they stepped out. The courtyard was magnificent, palm trees shading woven backed metal folding chairs and carved wooden tables, winding staircases up to diving boards at both ends of a gigantic swimming pool. There was a slanted hut that advertised towels and chairs in carved wood that looked like it belonged back in Refuge. Children ran over terracotta ground, every sixth tile slick white and painted with an intricate story of the construction of this place. There were high walls painted sky blue cutting away the outside world, giving them this space at least to be at peace in.

They stepped closer and Kravitz looked at the water. It didn’t bubble, and it didn’t steam. The air coming off it wasn’t hot, and it was clear as the sky above them. Kravitz took a deep breath to fight off the anxiety squirming in his gut. 

“You doing alright there babe?” Taako rested his chin gently atop Kravitz’s head. Kravitz shut his eyes and assessed, then nodded. He could do this. A group of children splashed each other in front of them and water hit Kravitz. He fought back the reflexive flinch from that, and turned his mind to the water on him. It was cold! Well, not cold, just about warmer than his skin, but it wasn’t hurting. He let out the breath he’d kept with a whoosh and relaxed his shoulders. He could do this. He lead the three of them forwards, as they reached the edge of the pool the ground became wet underfoot. Not boiling. Not boiling. He stared down into the pool at blue tiles shifting with the water’s movement. Not boiling.

He let go of Magnus’ hand, and then Taako’s, and told himself it was now or never. He sat himself down, knees drawn up and toes curling at the ledge. And then he let his legs fall, and he shut his eyes, bracing for the burn he was terrified of. The water was lukewarm. His eyes flew open and he stared down. His legs were in! He’d done it! He beamed up at Taako and Magnus, who returned with radiant smiles of their own and sat down beside him. 

“I - I can’t believe it.” He muttered. “That was the thing I was most scared of, ever. And I - I just overcame it.”

Taako kissed him on the cheek. “You did great, man.” 

Magnus wrapped a broad arm around his shoulders. “What he said.”

They spotted Angus in another corner of the pool, most kids were staying well away from him (Kravitz knew that feeling all too well) but one boy was chatting away to him, a young human who seemed to be using only his arms to swim. Kravitz looked to Taako, he was hiding a proud smile, and a happy glint shone in those yellowed eyes. Magnus was wearing his affection for all to see, his chest puffed out and slanted eyes wide and bright. 

“‘Scuse me sir, but my friends were wondering how you got all those scars?” A small voice squeaked from behind Magnus. Kravitz looked up, it was a young elf girl, probably the size of a seven year old? Kravitz was really bad with age. 

Magnus turned to face her, looked around, and gestured for the group of kids hanging behind her to come closer. “They’re all from absolutely terrifying monsters.” He confided solemnly. “Are you sure you want to hear about that?” 

The little girl looked around and nodded, her friends following her lead. 

Magnus brought them in to sit around him and launched into a tale about a scar on his right hip. It was just the right amount of detail for a small child, and ended with the monster high tailing it over a hill with a whooped ass. The kids were enraptured, and they cheered in unison when the story ended. A small human boy pointed to a scar on his arm and asked him how he’d got that one. He flexed, and Kravitz gaped alongside the kids at the size of his muscles. 

“Feelin’ thirsty there babe?” Taako murmured in his ear. Kravitz looked at him with a start just as Magnus started telling the kids about a fight with a bear. 

“What? No I - I didn’t mean to stare or anything, I’m not like, being weird!.” Kravitz felt a wet kind of guilt in his chest. He should stop being like this, he didn’t want Taako to think he didn’t like him, because  _ gods _ he did. He loved him. He was just… finding himself attracted to Magnus too. It wasn’t an instead of, it was an as well as. But he didn’t know how to say that to Taako without it coming out all fucked up.

“It’s chill bone boy, I’m just joshin’ with you. Mags’ arms are the eighth wonder of the world.” He smirked adorably, eyeing up the fighter then looking back at Kravitz. “Now, do you wanna get more than just your legs all wet? ‘Cause honestly I have this very good picture of that body of yours all dripping and I wanna make it a reality.”

Kravitz snorted and pushed Taako away teasingly. “Ew, gross. That’s so gay, babe.”

“Oh shit, really?” 

Magnus glared over at them and Taako giggled. Kravitz leaned in and kissed him softly. “Don’t swear in front of the kids, darling.”

“I couldn’t help it. I’ve just come to the realisation that I am in fact a flaming homosexual, what am I supposed to do with myself?” He lifted an upturned hand to his forehead. “I’ll have to go on a journey to realise my true self now, bon voyage mon ami.” And with that he slid sideways off of the side and into the pool, hair billowing out as he went under. Kravitz reminded himself of his legs in the water and breathed to stop the panic from gripping him, but when Taako emerged and his playful grin became worried he realised his whole body was tense. “Oh shit babe, I’m so sorry! Was that too much?” 

Kravitz nodded, ashamed. He thought he’d gotten over this earlier, but apparently he had a long way to go.

“Hey! Buddy, it’s okay! We can take this nice and slow, want me to get back out or stay in here.”

“Stay in there.” Kravitz laughed lightly. “Y’know, I’m your boyfriend nerd, stop calling me buddy.”

Taako stuck out his tongue. “Boyfie then.” 

Kravitz rolled his eyes and beckoned him over. “You know I can’t resist that tongue.” He muttered, leaning down to kiss him on wet lips.

“I know, doll. And you know, sometimes it’s super nice that you’re all clammy, cause if I kiss you long enough I warm you up, and when I pull away your lips are kinda pinkish, which is super a good look on you.”

“Wow, that’s gay.”

“You’re gay.”

“Mm, I know right.” He kissed Taako again, sweet and deep. There were disgusted screams from the group of kids, exclaiming that kissing was gross and they were both gonna get cooties, and they pulled away laughing as the children ran for the hills. 

“Damn guys, you scared away my audience.” Magnus huffed with no real anger. 

“Oh I’m  _ so _ sorry. Hey Kravitz, we should kiss him to make up for it - give him our cooties.”

Kravitz would have very eagerly taken him up on that, had it been a more serious offer.

Magnus squealed at them to get away and launched into the water with a splash. Taako ran a comforting hand over Kravitz’s knee. The water hitting him was lukewarm, everything was okay. He thought he might be ready to learn to swim. 

He spoke that thought out loud, and both Taako and Magnus heard. Magnus swam back around and they trod water either side of him as he lowered himself in up to his neck. The water was actually colder than his chest now that the sun had gotten to him in full effect, which was a massive reassurance. 

He held on to the side as Magnus showed him to kick his legs and scoop water to stay above the surface. Then he showed him the front crawl, but Kravitz wasn’t sure he was ready to have his head under, so he taught him the best way to do the breaststroke. Taako was there as moral support mainly, but occasionally they would both just watch in quiet awe as Magnus shot across the water with powerful strokes. At one point Taako muttered something, and when Kravitz asked him to speak again, he clammed up and went a bright red. 

After a while, Kravitz had mastered the first stroke, and was feeling confident as an overpraised parrot. He pulled Taako aside and quietly asked him to hold his hand as he ducked his head under the water. Taako kissed him and told him to take all the time he needed, but Kravitz needed to do it fast. He held tightly to a slender hand and reminded himself that Taako was holding the edge and could pull him up as fast as he needed, and then he took a deep breath and pushed his face into cool water. The breath was of course just to make himself feel better, and he let the air go with a sigh of relief as waves of panic stopped in their course through him. Everything was okay. 

He opened his eyes. 

Underwater, everything seemed magnified. His pruning hands seemed to belong to a giant, his feet seemed closer than they usually were (he could also see that the black paint on his nails was chipping, and made a note to ask Merle to redo them later). He pulled himself lower with a metal ladder to his right, so that he could look ahead and around. 

People around him were reduced to legs and torsos, the rest of their bodies swimming squat above the surface, where the water was sprinkled with light from the slow moving sun. He got an idea, and gently pulled Taako’s hand down to examine it. He could see currently wrinkled, calloused skin and bitten nails, and it seemed that the magic Taako was using to hide his scars didn’t extend to his fingers, because marks borne of flame and magic snaked from tip to knuckle and even palm. He ran his fingers over every line, and every scar. After a minute, he was overwhelmed with the urge to kiss him, so he kicked upright, and did. His hands tangled with his hair and he wrapped his legs around Taako’s waist, kissing him hard and proper. Taako snorted and wrapped his arms around him, one hand very close to his ass and getting closer.

A slap in the water behind them broke the moment and they both looked over in annoyance, Taako hooking his hands under Kravitz’s legs as if to say ‘you’re not going anywhere just yet’. It was Magnus, and he was being attacked by two small figures launching wave after wave of water in his direction. When he noticed them looking, he yelled for help, eyes mostly screwed shut, making feeble splashes at his attackers.

Kravitz was alarmed for a second, until he realised that the two figures were Angus and the human boy he’d been talking to, who had a buoyancy device around his chest that seemed to be helping keep him up as he used his arms to attack. It was a water fight. 

“Oh hell yeah! Lets beat these punks.” Taako crowed, detached Kravitz from himself with a wistful, promising kiss, and sped forwards to join Magnus in the fray. Kravitz watched, surveying the delighted laughter of both child and adult. The kids were in the shallower waters, but both Taako and Magnus were a lot taller than them and even deeper in the pool Magnus was only under up to his chest and Taako was even further freed from the drag of the water, meaning their movements were faster and they quickly had the kids squealing and yelling uncle. 

The fight ended and the four of them caught their breaths. Taako collapsed with his face buried in Magnus’ heaving chest and Kravitz rolled his eyes, he was beginning to realise that he wasn’t necessarily the thirstiest man in the desert. Kravitz paddled over to stand with them, and the kids soon joined. The boy with Angus introduced himself as Daniel, and without prompt announced that his legs were shit. Taako got this look in his face that meant he liked the kid but didn’t want to show it, and started interrogating.

They floated for a while, Magnus taught Kravitz how, holding him up with one strong hand so that his chest stayed above the surface. It was about spreading his weight, he said, and about keeping air in his lungs, which Kravitz could do (but he really would not protest if Magnus kept holding him up). The sun above was bright and hot, dazzling in the cloudless sky. It felt to them then that the city of Neverwinter was aptly named. 

Magnus shut his eyes and enjoyed the warmth spreading through his skin. Something bumped against his shoulder, he swivelled his head to look. Kravitz had floated close enough to brush up against him. Magnus wanted to pull him in, hug him as they floated, but he knew he couldn’t. So he just kind of… stared for a minute. Kravitz was smiling lightly, eyes shut against the bright sky. His face was smooth, relaxed, but he still had bags under his eyes, and his forehead was still etched with lines from glaring at necromancers or whatever he did, it looked like he was getting some very well deserved downtime (maybe Magnus should offer to give him a massage later). 

Taako splashed up to Magnus’ other side. He seemed to be looking around. When he spotted his boyfriend relaxing his lips twisted into an evil smirk, uh oh. He popped something into his mouth and swam around, attempting silence (double uh oh). Kravitz didn’t seem to notice, and gasped when Taako kissed him sweetly. When he realised who it was Magnus saw him smile and stand up into the kiss.

Magnus was watching to see what Taako was up to, to find out what he’d put into his mouth. Not for any other reason, nope. He saw Taako pull back, bite his lip and look at Kravitz with sultry eyes. No other reason for watching, no way. He leaned back in and kissed almost open mouthed. To Magnus it was obvious that he was hiding something in there, but Kravitz was apparently oblivious. He opened his own mouth and Magnus saw his tongue poke shyly forwards. They were tilted, and as so it was easy as anything to see as a glob of something white and melting slid from Taako to Kravitz along Taako’s tongue. Magnus’ mind slipped into the gutter for a moment but was thankfully brought back when Kravitz pulled away wide eyed, and looked for somewhere to spit that wasn’t the pool. He evidently didn’t see one fast enough, because he reluctantly swallowed, glaring at Taako. Taako sidled up behind Magnus, holding his shoulders to keep him as a shield, and leaned down to whisper in his ear. 

“Knew it, that boy never spits.”

Magnus choked on air.

“What the fuck was that?” Kravitz groaned. Magnus almost told him to mind his language, but with a look around the pool he could see that they were the only ones there any more aside from Angus, who was sat reading under the shade of a tall umbrella. 

“Okay, so you know how you’re a little bitch and refuse to eat cold foods?” Taako was teasing, and Kravitz narrowed his eyes. “That was ice cream, ‘cause on a day like today you can’t  _ not _ have ice cream!”

Kravitz blinked, then laughed. “Oh my god, you’re such an asshole.”

“That’s me. Bonafide ass.” 

“Well you know I’m not gonna let you go with this one.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Water fight time.” Kravitz tested something out, shutting his eyes and concentrating. He seemed to go… translucent? His skin shifted and swayed, and the world behind him was suddenly visible, but altered. Was - was he made of water? Talk about overcoming your fears. 

He opened his eyes, white irises glowing, and with dripping hands he motioned upwards and two pillars of water followed. Magnus stared, slack jawed. The water had easily risen three feet out of the pool in thick, swirling columns, swaying in tandem with Kravitz and spraying clear droplets through the air.

“Hey, no fair! Magic water fights are hard.” Taako squeaked. “Although this is very cool and I’m both intimidated and turned on right now so you should maybe do more of this later and show me what you can do?”

Kravitz laughed and slowly brought down the water back into the pool. Interestingly, the level didn’t seem to change, it was as if he was creating more, not simply using what was there, but when he let it go, the extra added just disappeared. 

“Okay, then let’s go traditional.” Kravitz looked a little shaky as his body shifted back to normal. “Me and Magnus versus you.” Magnus swam over to him and turned to face a betrayed looking Taako. 

“Fine, but I get Ango.” 

“Deal.”

“OI, MCDONALD, YOU’RE ON MY TEAM.”

The three of them looked up to see a very confused looking Angus complying regardless, setting down his book and coming over to slide into the pool.

“What’s going on sirs?”

“We’re at war, pumpkin. These fucks have tarnished my honour.”

Angus looked to Kravitz for explanation.

“Taako put ice cream in my mouth without asking and now we’re fighting.” 

“Oh, okay, sounds fair.”

The four of them squared up, and Magnus had a brilliant idea, he leaned over to Kravitz to relay it. Death looked at him, dark eyes glinting and smile wicked (and wow, Magnus really wanted him to pin him up against something), and he nodded.

“Last rule.” Kravitz yelled. “One of you has to get on the others’ shoulders. First to get pushed off loses.”

“What? That’s not fair! You two are a pair of brawny boys!”

“Let’s do this.” Angus grinned. Taako looked down at him with pure fear, then at Magnus’ muscles, then at his own skinny arm, then back at Angus. Angus grabbed his hand and lead him over to the side of the pool, where he heaved himself up onto the ground and made Taako bend over to let him clamber onto his shoulders. The wizard did not look happy.

“Guess it’s our turn now.” Kravitz grinned. “You wanna like, lift me or something? Show off to them?”

“Oh heck yeah.” Magnus returned the expression. He thought for a second, then came to the perfect conclusion. “Is it okay if I touch your ass?”

Kravitz’s eyes widened, he nodded wordlessly. Magnus had no idea whether that was a good expression or a bad one, but the fact that he’d just gotten permission for that sent his heart bucking for a moment.

He stepped behind Kravitz and rolled his shoulders for a moment. Alright, here goes nothing. He bent his knees and grabbed on tightly to Kravitz’s ass with both hands. Kravitz gasped and Magnus really worried he’d hurt him. But it was too late to turn back and he hoisted the reaper above his head and deposited him onto his shoulders

Holy  _ shit _ . Kravitz’ brain was scrambled. It was very fucking unfortunate that he was now sat on Magnus’ shoulders. Kravitz really just hoped he couldn’t feel anything against his neck. He could safely add ‘being lifted up by the fuckin’ ass’ to his list of weird turn ons.

“Bring it, assholes!” Magnus yelled, hands tightly wrapped around Kravitz’s calves (gods his hands were big). Kravitz blinked his brain back into order and watched Taako and Angus come towards them. Taako was always surprisingly strong, he didn’t seem to be hindered at all by the kid on his shoulders as he stalked forwards. 

Kravitz cracked his knuckles and grinned deviously at Angus, who seemed very focused. 

“Now, Mags.” Kravitz said, and they charged forwards, Magnus tackling Taako and Kravitz grabbing hold of Angus. They, of course, won the fight, Kravitz pulling Angus off Taako’s shoulders and Magnus scrabbling with Taako until he had him secure under his arm. Kravitz helped Angus down, then literally climbed down Magnus to gloat in his boyfriend’s face. 

“This is what you get for trying to feed me, jackass.” He said with a kiss. “Although, the ice cream was nice and I might have some more later.”

He kissed Taako again, deeper, to stop him from responding.

“If you two wanna go like, make out in a corner, I might see how many times I can lap Ango.” Magnus snorted, looking down at them with amusement.

“Might have to do that, big fella.” Taako hummed, fiddling with one of Kravitz’ locs.

Magnus set Taako down (dropped him) into the water and swam slightly back to not be in range of the wrath of his friend. Taako surfaced, pouting, and clung to Kravitz, giving Magnus the finger.

“Magnus, say sorry.” Kravitz rolled his eyes.

“Sorry, Taako.” Magnus droned. Taako poked his tongue out. “Now you two go make out, I’m gonna stay away so I can pretend I don’t know you when you get done for indecent exposure.”

Taako snorted. “Like they’ll ever catch us.”

Kravitz pushed his boyfriend off of him and back under the water, then swam over to Magnus and, on a whim, pulled his face down to kiss his cheek. 

The overgrown stubble on his cheeks was rough, and his skin was  _ so  _ warm. Kravitz pulled away very quickly (this was just a friend thing, friends do that, they kiss each other on the cheek) and muttered something about him keeping Angus in check. He turned back to Taako, who was peering at him from between wet locks of hair with a smirk. 

Uh oh. 


	4. Dinner and a Woah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS IS SO LATE ASKJAS I THOUGHT ID UPLOADED IT AND SORRY ITS SO BAD

Taako didn’t say anything.

Nothing. For over a week.

Kravitz was lying on Taako’s bed, watching him try to find a clean pair of pyjamas to sleep in. It was a cold night, and Kravitz was even colder, so he’d refused to sleep over unless Taako was wearing more than shorts (he’d woken up a few nights before to a blue lipped boyfriend since they’d fallen asleep with the window open, and he didn’t want that happening again). Taako tossed a shirt to the ground and Kravitz decided to bring it up.

“So,” He started. Taako looked up at him for a second, smiled, and went back to rummaging through his stuff. “Magnus hasn’t trained with Carey for a while.” Perfect, that was just the _worst_ way to try and start the damn conversation.

“Oh, no. She’s been away with Killian on some kind of couple’s retreat.”

“Oh! Cool, that sounds nice!”

“Mhm, you wanna go on one, Death?”

“Well my job doesn’t exactly account for holiday time, but then again it doesn’t really account for any time at all, so maybe some day.” Kravitz laughed nervously. Taako looked up again and poked his tongue out. “But, back to Magnus. He’s uh, still working out on his own, right?”

“Think so. Why? You wanna go in and trip him over while he’s on the treadmill?”

“No - well, yes, but - I was just wondering.”  

“You wanna go make eyes at his muscles?”

Kravitz’s form flickered, panicked. Taako didn’t even look up, his tone was light and teasing. He didn’t seem to have any idea that he was right.

“Well, uh -”

“‘Cause I very much understand that, and if you do end up doing that hit me up and I’ll bring popcorn.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh absolutely. I’ve said it a million times; that man’s biceps are some of the grand relics and we’re all under their spell.”

Kravitz snorted despite himself. “Under their spell?”

“Oh yeah, I’ve seen Killian gawk at them and she’s one of the gayest lesbians I’ve ever met.”

Kravitz shifted in his seat. “And you’re under their spell too?”

“From day one, pal. I wouldn’t have gone adventurin’ with the boy if I didn’t think he could use those muscles to protect this fine ass.”

“And that’s all you want them to do?” Wow, Kravitz. That - that was bad. Bad words right there.

“Protect me?” Taako pulled a footed pyjama outfit from the pile of clothes he’d been working through, and started to pull it on.

“Yeah, you only want him to protect you?”

Taako snorted and nearly tripped over his realisation. “You’re asking me if I wanna smash him?”

Kravitz’s knee bounced. “Yeah?”

“Krav, sweetie.” Taako leaned down and bopped him on the nose. “The man’s a living Greek hero, of course I want some o’ that.” He sat down and spoke gentler. “Now, that’s not me saying I’m unhappy with you. I’m not gonna like, dump your fine ass for some of that. Never in a million years. I just don’t wanna be dishonest with you, man.”

Kravitz groaned and fell backwards. “God, I - I’m really fuckin’ glad you said that.”

“Why’s that, babe?”

“‘Cause I have this _stupid fucking crush on him_. And I really didn’t want to upset you by saying it but you saying that just lifted this huge weight off my chest honestly. I just found myself liking him and I still love you and I’m just so fucking relieved.”

“Wow, you’re a dork. And I hate to say it, but I have bad news for you bud.”

Kravitz’s stomach turned. “What?”

“Mango’s as straight as - as the legs on one of his chairs.”

Kravitz looked up at him skeptically, insides relaxing. “You sure about that?”

“Honey, if you can get a seat on _that_ ride, get me a ticket too. But that boy has his face in the dictionary next to the word heterosexual.” The elf lay down next to Kravitz, a full head and a half longer than him, stupid onesie unbuttoned over his chest. “You don’t think I haven’t tried before? My dude that boy is perfect daddy material.”

Kravitz cackled. “You’re ridiculous.” He rolled onto his boyfriend and gave him a peck on the lips. “Thank you for not getting mad at me for liking him.”

“Well, I will admit that I had a hunch. You thirst over him just that little bit more than a normal person.”

“Wow, thanks.” Kravitz huffed. “Oh, and you’re so wrong about him being straight.”

“Oh yeah? What makes you think that?”

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you sometimes. And how he looks like he’d happily stay in your arms for an eternity every time you hug him.”

“My hugs are fuckin’ special, bud.”

“Mhm, sure they are.” Kravitz kissed his nose. “I’m serious, though. He’s not straight in the slightest.”

Taako laughed and rolled his eyes. “You know what, you go for it. But, if you get what you want would you pretty please see if he’s interested in me too?”

Kravitz’s mind wandered. “How about,” he licked his lips, “I see if he’s interested in _us_?”

Taako smirked and kissed him again. “I like your thinking compadre.”

So Kravitz organised dinner with Magnus. It wasn't a rare occurrence really, except Taako usually came along, and they usually went to one of the cheaper restaurants, somewhere bright and open. Kravitz booked them a table at a much more adult place. The lights were low and the walls deep red. It was bordering on romantic with the colours, but the furnishings had a much more professional feel. They were lead to a booth with high, plush seats and a table with a candle. Magnus looked slightly put out.

“This is something new, isn't it?” He whistled. “I haven't been in here before.”

“I've come in a few times, with Taako.” Kravitz smirked and leaned in conspiratorially, both hands on the table. “The chef won’t give him his fresh pasta recipe.”

Magnus grinned and rolled his eyes. He was leaning back in his seat, and Kravitz couldn't tell whether it was to be comfortable or because of how far forwards he himself was leaning. Maybe Taako was right. Maybe Magnus was straight - or uninterested.

“So what would you recommend?” He asked, flipping open the menu and resting his hand on it a few inches from one of Kravitz’s

“Hm,” Kravitz pondered, drumming his fingers lightly on the table, “well Taako usually takes it upon himself to introduce me to new foods, and the best thing by far I’ve had from here is their linguine carbonara.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, the sauce is perfect, and there’s a reason Taako’s always trying to get their pasta recipe.”

Magnus grinned. “You really like him, huh?”

Kravitz shrugged, but his lips pulled into a betraying smile. “I kinda… love him a little.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Shuddup. You work with him, do _you_ like him?”

Magnus’ cheeks went the faintest bit pink. “He’s one of my best friends, of course I like him.”

“But do you _like_ him?” Kravitz smirked.

Magnus wasn’t sure what was happening, he wasn’t sure how to respond. Had Kravitz realized his crush on Taako? Was he jealous?

Was he gonna make him stay away from Taako?

Fuck.

“What do you mean?”

Kravitz’s smirk lifted slightly more, “I mean do you _like_ him?” He leaned in conspiratorially, “Look, we have kind of a… bet.”

“A bet?”

“Well, not exactly but kind of?”

“Kravitz, what?”

“Okay so, Taako is of the belief that you’re as straight as a ruler, whereas I think we - well I don’t think you are.”

“So this is… a gaydar bet?”

“Kind of?”

“What do you get if you win.”

Kravitz looked sheepish, his arched eyebrows curved inwards and he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth to wet it (not that Magnus was looking at his mouth, no way). He drummed his fingers on the table again. “Well, if Taako wins, he gets to lord it above me for eternity probably. And if I win uh, we were hoping we might - well we were wondering if you were…” He trailed off. A light bulb popped on in Magnus’ head. He gently placed a hand over Kravitz’s tapping fingers. His skin was cool and smooth, so much like touching a statue.

“So what if I win?”

“What?”

“What if you’re both a little right?”

Kravitz blinked, staring up at Magnus with black eyes. “Well, what would you want if you won?”

Magnus rushed in. Well, not exactly. He leaned in to meet Kravitz in the center of the table. His nose brushed against Kravitz’s as he leaned his head to the side. Kravitz’s eyes widened, shocked flickers of red running across them. Magnus stopped, lips inches from Kravitz’s. He could feel no breath on his skin. And then Kravitz shut his eyes and their skin met. His lips were soft and his kiss was nervous. Magnus brushed his thumb over Kravitz’s wrist, and lifted his other hand to run his fingers over Death’s jaw. Jeez, he was kissing _Death_ , like actual, honest to Gods Death. His skin was rough and stubbled, and Magnus wondered if he shaved, if he needed to shave, or if he just always had this shadow. His hand rested on the back of his neck, under a heavy braid of dreads, his thumb brushed his cheek. And Kravitz smiled. He leaned further towards Magnus and kissed him more confidently. Magnus was maybe in heaven.

“Are you two going to order at all? Or are you just gonna eat each other's faces.”

Magnus pulled away, startled, and looked up at a bemused waitress. “Oh, yeah, right. Uh - I’ll have the carbonara.”

She nodded, smirking, and turned her eyes to Kravitz. Her smirk dropped, replaced by a look of surprise. “Oh, and for you Kravitz?”

“Surprise me.” The Reaper smiled, gathering their menus and handing them over. 

“You know that when you say that Stan always just makes the most expensive thing on the menu right?” She looked like she was trying to hide a hint of sadness.

“Well now it’s not a surprise, is it!” Kravitz laughed. “I’ll have the steak salad then. And can we get uh, garlic bread and calamari for starters?”

“On it.”

“So you’ve come here a ‘couple times’ huh?” Magnus lifted an eyebrow as soon as the waitress was out of earshot.

“Well you know Taako, he always leaves an impression.” Kravitz looked amused. “She probably thinks I’ve broken up with him. I should bring him down next week, that would be funny.”

“So, about Taako.” Magnus felt something cold rise up from his gut. “Is he - did I read the situation right?”

Kravitz grinned, black eyes glittering. “Oh yeah. He’s gonna be _thrilled_ when I tell him.”

“So he’s - he’s interested in me too?”

A snorted laugh. “Very. According to him, he was trying to get a piece of you from the moment you met, but you never responded so he gave up.”

“Oh god, really?”

“Yep.”

“Well, I’ll admit I wasn’t interested in him at all to begin with. After Julia I - well, I just wasn’t ready for anything. I didn’t think I’d ever be.”

“So when did you start liking him?”

“Well, probably just after the Rockport?”

“The train?”

“Yeah, Taako tell you about that?”

“Not really, he’s not one for talking about his adventures.”

“Yeah, I’m not surprised. Well, it was after that, and it was the first real time I realised ‘hey I’m with these guys for the long run’ and I kinda, stepped back and thought about it. And I thought about how much they were starting to mean to me, and Taako came into our room butt naked and like _soaking_ , complaining about the shower curtain dripping all over his clothes. And it was in the middle of me thinking about this shit, and he pouts and me and takes my towel to wrap around that longass body of his. It was kinda a ‘oh, he’s hot, and I’m gonna be constantly around him, huh’.

Kravitz was grinning. “I can see that happening. And - and you’re not just interested in Taako?”

Magnus felt his cheeks turn red. “Well, no. I - uh. Well.”

“No? So when did you realise that?”

“Well you - you both came walkin’ out of his room one day and I swear my brain like, short circuited.”

Kravitz cackled. His nose wrinkled up and his lips lifted off his dully pointed teeth. “Oh Gods, seriously?”

“Well yeah! Look at you.”

Kravitz’s cackling cut off with a snort. “How did Taako ever think you were straight?”

“Fucked if I know.”

“That can be arranged.” Kravitz grinned playfully, then seemed to realise what he’d just said, and clapped a hand over his mouth loudly.

Magnus’ heart skipped a beat, he hadn’t thought about that. That he was now almost a part of the ‘Taakitz’ experience. What would Merle call it now? Maakitz? Taagnitz? And what was like, the _sex_ arrangement? Would it be like, one bottom two tops? Or like, a train of dicks? And then sleeping? Did they share a bed? He had a lot of questions.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t - if I made you uncomfortable I’ll just - fuck, I’m sorry.”

Magnus burst out laughing. Kravitz looked very relieved. “Making assumptions though, are you?”

“Oh, so you don’t want that arranged?”

“Oh, I mean I _do_ , but that depends on what you guys uh, want?”

Kravitz grinned. This had gone a whole lot better than he was expecting. He was honestly very surprised that Magnus wasn’t completely overwhelmed by all of this. “Want me to call Taako?”

“It’s probably a good idea to actually tell him about this, isn’t it?

Kravitz nodded and lifted his palm, closing it and then opening it for his stone of farspeech to appear. He called Taako, and within ten seconds of the stone ringing, the elf was speed walking into the restaurant and sliding into the booth next to Magnus.

“What’s up dipshits?”

“Is that any way to talk to your boyfriends?” Kravitz rolled his eyes and held Taako’s hand.

The waitress came over a moment later and placed their starters down with an alarmed look at their entwined fingers. Kravitz suppressed a laugh, and Taako ordered a bolognese while looking astonishedly at Magnus.

Once the waitress had left again he leaned in and narrowed his eyes. “So he wins huh?”

“Technically, Magnus wins.”

Magnus was trying not to look at Taako’s mouth, Kravitz could tell. “I’m bi.” He coughed nervously.

“So Magnus gets a prize.” Kravitz tried not to snicker

Taako nodded, eyebrows raised. “What’s your prize then, big fella?”

Magnus looked nervously to Kravitz, who lifted a hand to hide his almost laughter. Kravitz nodded at him, he knew Taako. He knew it wouldn’t be upsetting for him to be kissed out of the blue like this.

Magnus leaned in, eyes lidded but looking into Taako’s for any sign that this was unwanted. Taako’s ears fluttered, and his pupils widened with his eyes. Kravitz found himself watching nervously, biting his lip. _Kiss him_. Either he’d said that out loud, or the same thought had come to Taako, because his boyfriend leaned in and his lips met Magnus’. Magnus’ eyes shut all the way, and he kissed back gently. Kravitz grinned.

“Technically that’s two prizes for you Mag.”

Taako pulled away and poked his tongue out. “I’m _really_ liking this prize, so shut it babe.”

“This isn’t fair, you know doing that with your tongue just makes me want to kiss you!”

“Then do it jackass.”

“There’s a table in the way!”

“That’s not an excuse.”

Magnus shifted away from Taako, looking down into his lap, bottom lip pulled into his mouth. Kravitz felt his form flicker with a wave of worry, was he regretting this? Oh god had they forced him into this?

“Woah, you okay there? You just went all Scooby Doo Spooktacular on me bud.” Taako leaned forwards, alarmed.

Kravitz nodded. “Magnus, you alright?”

Magnus looked up, wide eyed and pale faced. “I - yeah. Don’t worry about me, I’m cool.”

Taako’s face matched Kravitz’s in worry. “Well, you’re our boyfriend now so it’s like, kinda our deal to worry.”

Magnus shifted uncomfortably. “Are you gonna - are you sure you’re gonna be okay with that?”

“With what?”

“With me. Like, with me interrupting your relationship?”

“Interrupting? Bucko you’re just making this better for all of us.” Taako placed a hand gently on Magnus’ shoulder, Kravitz really wanted to do the same, but didn’t want to overwhelm him. “Look man, I've been crushin’ on you for a good while, doesn't mean I don't love Kravitz. Surprisingly I have a heart big enough for two, but don’t you breathe a word of that to anyone else.”

Magnus smiled slightly. “You sure?” His eyes went to Kravitz as well.

“Right now? Absolutely. And hey, we can always call it quits if it doesn’t work out, no hard feelings. Let’s call this our pilot episode.” Kravitz grinned, and Magnus responded in kind. He relaxed slightly and leaned back in his seat but not away from Taako’s hand.

Magnus smiled. “Then maybe now’s a good idea to discuss what we brought Taako in for, while I’m already all embarrassed.”

Taako looked quizzically to Kravitz, and apparently remembered that there was food on the table, because he blindly shoved his hand into the bowl of calamari at the same time. Kravitz himself was just as curious, until he remembered his earlier slip of the tongue and his eyes went wide. “You think?”

Magnus snickered and nodded, face a giddy pink.

“What’s happening?” Taako raised one eyebrow and one ear (his mouth was half full of squid and Kravitz almost wanted to duct tape it shut).

“Uh, sleeping arrangements.” Magnus coughed and picked up two large slices of garlic bread to use as an excuse for explaining no further.

Kravitz sighed, with just a hint of amusement. “Well, sexy arrangements, really.”

Taako tried to laugh through his food and ended up almost choking, Magnus had to pat him hard on the back and get him to drain a glass of water to stop the coughing.

Kravitz rolled his eyes. “You done being a child now?”

“Fuck you.”

“Perfect. So, what I was, uh, wondering, is whether - Magnus - you like to pitch, catch, or play the field, or like sit on the sidelines or whatever?”

“Ugh, stop with the sports metaphors, I feel like I’m at a gym. Is this what exercise feels like?” Taako groaned, falling back in his seat. Magnus picked up a piece of garlic bread and pushed it into Taako’s mouth.

“Well, I guess I’d rather pitch.” Magnus ran a hand through his hair, looking down into his lap with red cheeks.

“This is making me hate sex, I hope you realise. If you want a piece of this action you gotta stop referring to your dicks as bats.”

“Don’t be crass, darling.” Kravitz smirked. “Pitching is good, pitching is good. I mean, it would have been good regardless, even if you didn’t wanna have sex. But from my point of view, pitching is, uh, really good.”

Taako giggled and Magnus looked up for an explanation. Kravitz’s hood lifted to cover his embarrassment.

“Aw baby, you’re adorable.” Taako cooed between laughs. “What he’s saying, Mags, is that ya boy Death here is the world’s biggest bottom.” He really didn't control his volume.

Kravitz groaned. “Oh yes Taako just tell the whole restaurant.”

“If you say so.” Taako grinned and lifted his arm to wave over the waitress. Kravitz scowled and extended an ethereal limb to yank the arm and pin it by Taako’s side. His boyfriend looked surprised, it was very rare that Kravitz would use his god given powers when he didn't have to. “Oh, Magnus, how do you feel about tentacles?” He asked.

“About _what?_  
  



End file.
